Truth Sprouts
My husband is really listening. I can almost hear the growing.
When I asked him if he finished painting the back bedroom in the cabin the other day on the phone, he said, "No, I didn't end up having enough paint, so I guess I'll do it next time I go up."
Later, he reminded me of this conversation & told me that his normal instinct would've been to just SAY YES, that he finished it (thinking/justifying he'd almost finished & would finish it soon, certainly by the next time I & the girls would be up to visit the cabin w/ him...so...(insert Falshood).
He had The Awareness. He actually thought A LOT about what I'd told him--the part about catching himself about to tell a non-truth OR even correcting one he just made 5 minutes ago, or yesterday, or even last week. That I would appreciate it & not judge him for correcting his lying ways. Really. Truth in the litttle things Awareness. Cultivate it, Mr. Wisdom! said I.
He's cultivating! He made himself tell the truth when it would've been so natural, normal, for him to lie. He saw it! He spotted it! He sprouted a bit, stepped out & up. I'm so proud of him!
While I was in the Evil Grocery today squish-fondling the red net-y bag of bitsy citrusy Clementines (love them!) Husband rang me on his cell. He said he shared TWICE at his SA meeting last night and that he MADE himself share about the wee anti-lying thingee progress he'd managed. He even offered the group that lying was really his core issue (think the man was pretty-much quoting Moi--Heh!).
Amazing stuff here, Kidz! After the meeting some of the guys came up to him and acknowledged that lying was a whopper issue for them as well & they appreciated his candor. Ya don't say? And, Who knew!
He said that he just needs to stop & slow down to get more honest. I did tell him again the next day that I was proud of him for the forward steps. Truly. And amen.
Progress...It's going to be slow, painful growth...but I'll take the growth. And I feel it's Huge that he stepped further by telling his group.
Addiction has its own agenda
11 months ago
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4 comments:
Thanks for visiting my blog. Feel free to write to me privately with your question at raesconfessions@yahoo.com.
WooHoo! I know that feeling oh so well and something inside my chest fluttered when honesty was the best policy for my husband - it was a long time in coming but so worth the wait!
P.S. Clemintines are my favorite!
Yeah! Slow progress is great progress! Especially when he notices it himself!
I wish you all the best!
I think dishonesty is a core issue for most addicts. I have written a lot about it ... but I still find that just telling the simple truth is sometimes so difficult. I really related to what your husband said about his progress when he told you that he hadn't finished painting. I'm glad you're both growing!
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