Really I don't like human nature unless all candied over with art.
~Virginia Woolf
~Virginia Woolf
Background before First D-Day:
I'd been married 20 years to a man who generously told me he loved me, how pretty I was, & how much he adored me nearly every day--in fact, lots. A man who always wanted me sexually & otherwise. A man who, despite having a bruised & vicious childhood, managed to become a spectacular husband & father who helped raise his 2 girls with smashing moral rectitude. This does NOT mean he wasn't/isn't entirely fecked-up on many, many levels; At All...more on that spot later.
A man who, nevertheless, brought me countless floral arrangements, trinkets, & cards over the years (never neglected a holiday or anniversary in our married life). He left me sweet Post-It notes & Sharpie-penned napkins & had my French Press cup of coffee at-the-ready when I awoke each morn.
And he loved to dance. That is one of the chief reasons I married him (aside from the fact that we got pregnant when I was 20... just about to graduate from college). That and our intense sexual draw, plus the unsmall point that although he played lots of sports, he wasn't much of a TV Spectator of them. Perhaps that's what sealed it for me. He was no Monday-Night-Football-Ass-Hat-y-kind-of-guy.
P.S. - Tomorrow is our 22nd Wedding Anniversary...and, well, I'm out of strings of words for how I feel about that...but Crushing comes to mind...
Posts
5 comments:
I'm glad to see you posting your story. My husband was very affectionate and demonstrative as well, which was one of the reasons it was so shocking and crushing (perfect word) to find out about the addiction.
My sixth wedding anniversary was the first I went through with the knowledge of the addiction. I remember my husband asking what I wanted for an anniversary gift, and I remember breaking down in tears and sobbing, "I want for all this to never have happened. That's what I want!"
Alright.......sorry I didn't see this sooner. This is going to be good for you. Wow, yes...it seems that many, many sex addicts are great husbands...uhm...or so we think. I read somewhere that it is the hardest when you haven't known for so long that it has been happening. It's a real reality bender, for sure. For me, it was 8 yrs. and I can't imagine having to face longer than that.
I hope you are doing ok with the anniversary. I found out maybe the last day or two before October last year. His birthay was the third. I couldn't do anything for him and I don't even remember our anniversary at the end of Nov. I'm guessing I told him I wanted to ignore it. I know it must have upset me but I blocked it out. I feel stressed even now when I think of it coming up again, even that far away.
HOW do I add you all to my blog page? I AM a computer-dork...Sigh...
I put you on my page.....
If you are on your main blog page you will see customize in the upper right corner - click on it and it should take you to the layout page. On the right you'll see some rectangular boxes that say edit. That's where you start. I think it may say blog roll - click on edit and see if you understand it from there.
I'm looking forward to hearing more of your story.
Thanks for sharing so far!
Ken
Post a Comment